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September/October 2019

I often ask, “How many of you see struggles within and between people?” Many do. I ask, “How many of you think Love is the answer?” Again, many do. “I happen to agree with you,” I say. “The problem is we have not learned to Love with deep conviction or mastery.” This article is my response to the question, “Why don’t we?” as well as “Why are we not as passionate about Love, as others often seem to be about hate?” Could it be…

Love seems to lose more than hate.

If we come right down to it, we may not always equate Love with Power. If anything, we may equate Love as a really important and wonderful “nice to have,” but not especially useful when up against the most pressing problems we face today. At times, it looks like Love has a losing track record. After all, historically many of the most loving people on the planet seemed to end up on the short end of the stick. These are not just the spiritually bold biggies either like Jesus (and other prophets of God), including the Dalai Lama, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa as well as the many loving and kind everyday men and women we know (believers or not). The question is this: Does Love really ever lose? Every person reading this can likely recognize the few biggies I just named and recall the everyday loving people too, and if you’re like me, just recalling them brings about inspiration that expands our capacity to be loving too. What if Love IS winning but the illusion of it losing is causing too many of us to back away in fear; avoid declaring for Love with faithful conviction and a commitment to mastering it fully, no matter what?

Standing for Love is often ridiculed and dismissed.

I feel this call to grow stronger in standing for Love openly in my own life. I teach what I privately refer to as practical applications of Love in many different settings, including the corporate setting. What I realize is that I don’t often use the word Love openly. I recently noticed that presidential candidate Marianne Williamson publicly declared that we need to get back to Love—and look at the negative reactions her words have provoked from quite a few people. A friend says, “Voting for her is a waste of a vote. Candidate so-and-so knows how to ‘speak truth to power.’” I think, ‘What is a greater example of speaking ‘truth to power’ than saying, “We ARE Love and need to be convicted about BEING Love and standing for Love, like haters too often stand for hate.”’ Because Love requires courage and determination no matter the apparent outcomes, I have sometimes failed to stand for my own deepest convictions about Love.

Standing as a proponent of Love is vulnerable.

I write this not to urge you to vote for or believe in Marianne Williamson. Rather, I am writing this to publicly step into my own authenticity regarding my stand for Love and its power. I share this to let you know what I see about my own fears of standing for Love out loud. I can understand why some people shied away from the Jesuses and the Gandhis of the world when the going got tough. Love is powerful and it riles up all types of reactions; Love is especially threatening to existing power structures that would continue taking advantage of, normalize, or promote that “the ends justify the means,” that “beliefs matter more than people” and that “win/lose” is the best we can expect. I have always stood for Love but skirted putting a direct stake in the ground publicly for it like Williamson and others who do. I do so today.

We judge Love and how “well” or “right” we’ve done it, by our own expectations for certain results.

I now see it’s not my job to make sure Love is “working” or that I’m “doing it right.” It is only my job to act from Love and to stand for Love as I have always been called to do and to do so to the best of my ability. I am losing my vacillation about Love’s expression in my life. I won’t second-guess or apologize for it anymore. Our fears around Love have more to do with a possible 10% (maximum) who could hurt us, than the 90% who will be happy about it and the 100% who will be helped by it.

A new narrative about Love.

Writing about this and deepening my commitment to live openly from Love is helping me to experience great fulfillment and meaning! I feel a healing in it and new strength. I am grateful for the leaders of standing for Love out loud, now and before. Love is more powerful than any force! That’s why I ask God daily to release me from any NEED for Love, approval and acceptance from others, and from my small understanding about my idea of outcomes and what they mean. When I GIVE Love to myself and others, consistently, doggedly, determinedly, wholeheartedly, and receive Love when it comes to me, without demanding it or protecting from it, I’m in the most powerful position related to Love that I can be. I encourage you to consider your own stance for Love in whatever way you are called to consider and express it. Together, maybe, if we’re all willing, we can rewrite a stronger, better story about Love and its power.

Please join me in this!

Judy Ryan is the founder and CEO of LifeWork Systems and is an expert thought leader on applied behavioral science systems that impact deep culture change for exceptional outcomes. People hire Judy and LifeWork Systems because they want to fully experience the joy and vitality that can be realized through a purpose-driven workplace culture where excellence in achievement is accomplished and celebrated.

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